Spitefully Yours

There's a picture that was taken about 2 months after my surgery. And in the picture, you'll see me. My hair's a mess. I'm smiling, but I look a little tired. But this feeling of relief is across my face.

In the photo with me, there's Annie, my dog. The 4 legged promise that kept me going, when I didn't think I had anything else left to give. You see, I had been through something immensely challenging and it wore me down to the point where one thing that kept me going was if I survive this, I'm gonna get a dog. You see, I was in a race against time. It was a year long wait for a life saving surgery to remove tumors, uterine fibroids, that were so large they were killing me.

The surgery to save my life included a hysterectomy, a liver resection, a hernia repair. There was endometriosis in my abdomen too that they had to remove as well. Four surgeries that were performed at once. Copic or go home. Right?

My husband was initially against the idea of getting another pet. He travelled a lot for work, and so did I, but when he saw my energy draining, when he saw the colour leaving my face and my body showing signs of starting to shut down, he did his best to distract me, to remind me that surgery could fix the problem, that if I just hung in there a little longer, things would get better. And he begged me not to die. And there was a certain point where I was begging myself. I literally felt like I was about to implode on a daily basis, but I fought through the pain through the darkest moments to make it to my surgery.

And trust me, I was way sicker than anyone knew. Every day, it felt like a countdown. The tumors were growing. They were crushing my organs, putting pressure on my spine. According to everyone around me, I looked like a walking corpse.

I was so weak, so tired. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even keep water down.

When they finally got me to surgery, the liver cyst was so large that I looked 7 months pregnant. And there was so much pressure in my body that my liver cyst ruptured in the middle of surgery. My body just couldn't take it anymore. They removed a piece of my liver, about the size of the deck of playing cards. And after that full year of waiting, The best part was I found out my tumors were not cancerous.

They suspected they weren't, but, you know, fibroid tumors are rarely cancerous. However, cancer runs heavily in my family, and I needed to know. Everything went as well as could be expected, but I wondered as much as I had endured, as much as I had been misdiagnosed, disregarded, and treated like I was less than anything, if there was any type of silver lining at all, and after all of that, I was still standing, So now, it gave me a new mission, a new focus. Before I got sick, I had been a life coach and had a practice and an old podcast, like helping people get through things. But because I was sick, I had to stop all of that Not really hurt, but at the same time I've learned that no matter what change will happen, so we just have to go with it.

What kind of example would it be if I didn't focus on healing myself? So I became a patient advocate, And I used all the anger I had about how I had been treated to help myself and others change their lives and navigate a broken health care system. And that's what the show is about, really. I'm inviting you to join me in reflecting on survival and unexpected joys and the power of embracing spite and the spite that drives us, the stories that inspires, and the people that we meet along the way to just keep fighting. You know, the biggest thing we can do is just keep going.

So join me every week as we tell my story and where I help you write yours. Where we learn how to go through all of the things that we face with chronic illness and learning how to cope with it and all of the aspects that go along with the health care system in America and getting the treatment and the healing that we deserve. Learn with me how to be your own best advocate. Develop practices that help you get the treatment that you need. I know it's a heavy journey out there sometimes, but together, we can do this.

We can make a difference. That's what Taggier taught me. This is Andrea Walker, and I remain always spitefully yours. Thanks for listening. To hear more episodes of the spiteful yours podcast, please like, subscribe, and share for more content And behind the scenes, exclusive sneak peeks about what's happening next.

I'll see you next week. Bye for now.